Adam Sandler continues to both entertain and surprise. He gave a great speech while roasting himself, while accepting the performer tribute award at the Gotham Awards on Nov. 28. The self-deprecating speech was written primarily by his daughters, because he said he was too busy to write one himself.
“I told my daughters Sadie and Sunny, who are 16 and 14, that I didn’t write a speech and they said phrases like, ‘Rude’ and ‘You’re mean,’” Sandler began.
“I said, ‘Well, Daddy’s f—— tired. Daddy f—— works hard, calm down.’ They were like, ‘Can we write your speech, Daddy? So you got something to say.’ I said, ‘Absolutely. It would be nice to see you do something other than watch YouTube or go to f—— Lululemon.’”
Sandler then began reading from his daughters’ perspective.
“‘Dear well-dressed dignitaries, highly educated hipsters and various other plus-ones of the Gotham Awards — thank you for giving our daddy, Mr. Adam Sandler, this prestigious lifetime, all-time, primetime G.O.A.T. achievement tribute award,’” he said.
“‘It means a lot to him, seeing as most of the awards on his trophy shelf are shaped like popcorn buckets, blimps or fake mini Oscars that say ‘Father of the Year,’ which he sadly purchased himself while wandering in a self-pitying fog through the heads hops of Times Square,’” he said.
Sandler then ripped into his appearance.
“‘First off, we would like to begin by apologizing for Daddy’s disturbingly unkempt beard,” he said. “‘He is under the illusion it hides the hamburger grease colored flesh waves of his triple chin, but to us, it just makes his head look like someone threw black and gray Corn Flakes on a f—— bean bag.’”
The speech continued with a reference to a fellow comedian, “‘Just know while Daddy is with you tonight, we’re doing everything we’re not allowed to do when Daddy’s home, like eat his Yodels or try on his Spanx or, dare we say, laugh out loud at Ben Stiller movies.”
